Strengthened
by Avoline Malfoy
Summary: Her brain short circuited for a moment before she shifted her stare to his hands. The same hands that he usually couldn't keep off of her, and now he was fighting to keep from touching her. But nothing seemed different about them. They looked the same to her. Wouldn't she notice if there was power beyond imagination hidden within them? RATED M FOR LANGUAGE, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!


_Disclaimer: I own nothing._

* * *

 _Ok, I like Helena, and I'm keeping her around._

 _So, how will she handle the new and improved Crowley?_

 _Sit back and find out!_

 _Love always,_

 _Avoline_

* * *

Helena blinked as the sun filtered through the blinds and into her eyes. She sat up, then turned to see Crowley at the foot of her bed. She smiled at him, happy to see that he was back to being the strong leader she knew he was. His neck had healed nicely, and the suit he was sporting had the most unholy of thoughts crossing her mind. In her sleepy haze, she failed to notice the mix of emotions in his eyes.

"Crowley, babe," she greeted snuggling under the covers and patting the empty side of the bed. "Come join me. Take a moment to relax." She heard him move, but he did not climb onto the bed. She cracked an eye open and stared at him. "Crowls, what's wrong?" He exhaled and looked away from her.

"The Winchesters had an idea," he began. "And of course the rumor of it made it's way to me. Use a 'hand of God' to defeat Lucifer and Amara. I had one hidden away, but never knew what to do with it. Demons can't harness that kind of power." He sat on the edge of her bed, far enough away where she couldn't touch him. "Apparently, I'm still half-cured, because as soon as I touched my hand to the object, it transferred what little bit of God's power it harnessed to me. I managed to blast Lucifer far enough away to escape." She sat up and smiled.

"So, what's the issue," she inquired. His gaze met hers, and she finally saw the fear and sadness hidden within.

"If I touch you, the power surging within me could kill you," he explained. "And right now, I want so badly to hold you, because I don't know when Lucifer or Amara will lay waste to everything on Earth."

Her brain short circuited for a moment before she shifted her stare to his hands. The same hands that he usually couldn't keep off of her, and now he was fighting to keep from touching her. But nothing seemed different about them. They looked the same to her. Wouldn't she notice if there was power beyond imagination hidden within them?

"Crowley, you still look the same to me," she pointed out. "Maybe it was a one-time deal?"

"I can't risk it." She shook her head at him.

"Even if it does kill me, wouldn't that be better than whatever Lucifer or Amara have planned," she pushed. "At least then, I know it wasn't intentional and it'll be somewhat painless. Lucifer won't be kind about it, I know that much, and Amara will drag it out to push her brother's buttons. Please, Crowley, don't let your fear of killing me stop you from at least holding my hand, dammit." He shook his head, pulling away slightly.

 _You'll know when the big man upstairs is around, sugar..._

Gabriel's words echoed in her head, and she lunged for the Scotsman's fingers.

"Helena, don't," he protested.

"Gabe told me once that I'll sense anything to do with the power of God," she countered. "And he was right, because, damn, everything seems warmer and brighter when Cas or that Chuck character is around. But nothing is different than usual right now." She grasped his hand, gripping tightly to keep him from fleeing. "See? It's all gone. It was a one-shot, and you used it up. You probably didn't mean to, but you did. There's nothing to be afraid of." He stared at her as she gently cupped his cheek. "You can't- won't- hurt me. And I know that, because nothing can possibly be stronger than love." She leaned forward, gently pressing her lips to his. "It's okay. You don't have to be afraid." His arms quickly pulled her close, and she breathed his scent in.

"Thank God," he almost sobbed, burying his face in her hair. "Oh, Helena, if I had hurt you or killed you, I wouldn't have been able to fucking forgive myself. You're everything to me. I can't live without you, and I don't want to ever hurt you." She ran her hands up and down his back, trying her best to soothe his frayed nerves. She knew he cared, but was still coming to grips with how much she could affect him.

"Calm down, Fergus," she whispered in his ear. "It's okay. You would never hurt me, and you know that. You love me way too fucking much to ever hurt me." His arms tightened around her, and she gently guided him to lie down. "It's okay, Fergus. It'll all be okay. We'll be okay. We'll always be okay."

"As long as I have you," he murmured. "As long as I have you. I need you, Helena, I need you so much it hurts sometimes."

"Easy, easy, just calm down," she instructed gently, combing through his short hair. "I'm right here, Fergus." He lifted his head and claimed her lips in a kiss.

"We've come so far, Helena," he breathed. "From a broken woman who mourned her angel and a crossroads salesman to who we are now. And darling, we've grown stronger together than if we had walked away from each other. And I don't want to lose you, or hurt, or have you walk away." He kissed her again and pulled her body flush against him. "I can't say enough, luv, I need you. I'd give up everything for you."

"I know, I know," she soothed. "I'd never ask you to do that, though. It's all part of who you are. And I won't ever ask you to give up a piece of yourself." He smiled against her skin.

"Darling, you are more a part of me than anything else."


End file.
